2 Corinthians 5:18
And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to Himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to Him.
Relationships are always worth restoring. Because life is all about learning how to love, God wants us to value relationship and make the effort to maintain them instead of discarding them whenever there is a rift, a hurt, or a conflict. God has given us a ministry of restoring relationships (2 Corinthians 5:18).
New testament is devoted to teaching us how to get along with one another. (Philippians 2:1-2)
Our ability to get along with others is a mark of spiritual maturity. Romans 15:5.
Love for each other John 13:35
Broken fellowship is a disgraceful testimony to unbelievers. Like Paul said to the church in Corinth when they were fighting and taking each other to court. (1Corinthians 6:5)
He was shocked that no one in the church was mature enough to resolve the conflict peaceably. (1corinthians 1:10)
If you want God’s blessing on your life and want to be known as a child of God, you must learn to be a peacemaker. (Matthew 5:9)
Peacemakers are rare because peacemaking is hard work.
Our second purpose in life is to learn how to love and relate to others.
Peacemaking is not avoiding conflict. Yes sometimes we need to avoid conflict but sometimes we need to create it and sometimes we need to resolve it. That’s why we must pray for the Holy Spirit’s continual guidance.
How To Restore a Relationship
1. Talk to God before talking to the person. James 4:1-2
Tell God your frustrations. Cry out to Him. Most conflicts is rooted in unmet needs. Some of these needs can only be met by God.
2. Always take the initiative.
It doesn’t matter whether you are the offender or the offended: God expects you to make the first move. Matthew 5:23-24.
When a fellowship is strained or broken, plan a peace conference immediately. Don’t procrastinate, make excuses or promise. Delay only deepens resentment and makes matters worse. In conflict, time heals nothing; it causes hurts to fester. Acting quick also reduces the spiritual damage to you. 1Peter 3:7, Proverbs 28:9.
The success of a peace conference often depends on choosing the right time and place to meet.
3. Sympathise with their feelings.
Use your ears more than your mouth.
First listen to people’s feelings when attempting to solve any disagreement. Philippians 2:4
Focus in their feelings not the facts. Begin with sympathy not solutions.
Don’t try to talk people out of how they feel at first. Just listen and let them unload emotionally without being defensive. Psalm 73:21-22
Be patient Proverbs 19:11
To restore fellowship we must bear their burden. Romans 15:2.
4. Confess your part of the conflict.
If you are serious about restoring a relationship, you should begin with admitting your own mistakes or sin.
5. Attack the problem, not the person.
You cannot fix the problem if you’re consumed with fixing the blame. Proverbs 15:1
A soft answer is always better than a sarcastic one. Proverbs 16:21
For the sake of fellowship you must destroy your arsenal of relational nuclear weapons, including condemning, belittling, comparing, labelling, insulting, condescending and being sarcastic. Ephesians 4:29
6. Cooperate as much as possible. Romans 12:8
Peace always has a price tag. Sometimes it costs our pride; it’s often cost our self centeredness.
Do your best to compromise, adjust to others.
7. Emphasis Reconciliation, not resolution.
It is unrealistic to expect everyone to agree about everything. Reconcillation focuses on the relationship while resolution focuses on the problem.
God expects unity, not uniformity. We can walk arm-in-arm without seeing eye-to-eye in every issue.
This does not mean you should give up in finding a solution.
When doing so remember to do it in a spirit of harmony.
Reconcillation means you bury the hatchet not necessarily the issue.
Peter urged us in 1Peter 3:11 to work hard at living in peace with others.
When you work for peace, you are doing what God would do.
Peacemakers are His children. Matthew 5:9.
Question to consider: Who do I need to restore a broken relationship with today?
Restoring Broken Fellowship is taken from: The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? By Rick Warren. A MUST READ!!!
Love you all,